Love

How much of tango is about LOVE? It's a good question to ask, especially on Valentine's Day. As mentioned in a previous post, “Tango is a three-minute love affair with a stranger.” 

But is it really? Well it certainly can be, and traditionally has been, and certainly it is with the right partner. Yes, tango is sometimes romantic, sometimes playful, sometimes flirtatious, sometimes sexy, but ideally enjoyable for both. 

However, and especially in our recently (and thankfully) discovered era of “Me Too” and permission-based sexuality, it is crucial to maintain honor and respect, with honest communication, at all times. Particularly as tango is so close and intimate, it may be tempting to forget that sometimes. 

Tango is a conversation, and therefore clear communication is paramount between partners. The essential “topic” of this conversation? A somatic connection – how that we who are two persons effectively and happily become one and move together across the floor. One body, four legs! 

For this reason – that tango is chiefly about a somatic relationship rather than firstly about romance – I prefer the gender-neutral terms “leader” and “follower” to “man” and “woman” (or even the traditional “gentleman” and “lady”). For it is becoming increasingly common (again thankfully, in my opinion) to see women leading men, men following, and same-sex couples dancing together. 

So, YES, on this Valentine’s Day let us come together, close and intimate (if BOTH desire that), and dance this “Dance of Love”. But let our somatic connection be in place first and kept primary. Even if welcome, I would suggest not allowing a "personal romance" to compromise what is essential in the connection. It's not necessary and it would NOT be tango, at least not tango danced well. Let there always be LOVE, of course, but love in the TRUEST sense – kindness and consideration and mutual respect – on the dance floor and in ALL our relationships.

Thoughts?

Photo by Tyler Nix